So I feel like I haven't posted for a while, I like that about the blog, it applies gentle pressure on me to produce, document and share. The problem is at the moment I have 5 different projects in progress but none finishing.
So I thought I would write something.
For me writing is scary. Especially when other people are reading it. Some people seem to unselfconsciously bare thier soles with ease, no consequences. But maybe that is it, i am too self-conscious. I like to have a tight hold on all outward manifestations of myself. I need to feel some control of how people perceive me. I get embarrassed while just thinking about my own faults I don't have a handle on. The problem with writing is its written down, it stays, has a permanence. Spoken words disappear, say something silly, cringe-worthy or ignorant and it disappears. People might remember vaguely but one would have to be pretty mean to bring it up for further people to know of the incident. So unless recalled in my company i feel in the knowlege that that it is past, gone.
Written down it stays.
People might find it.
There is no denying it, no bending it or smoothing out the wrinkles.
I will probably regret this post.
It was not what i had intended to write.
Maybe I'll remember what that was for next time.
Still, a post.
That was my original intention.